Avicii’s tragic diary entries reveal the demons that haunted the star before his suicide at 28… 包括对他的痛苦的咆哮, ‘depressing’ vacations in hospital and his fear of sobriety
Late star Avicii’s diary entries have shed light on the heartbreaking demons he faced before taking his own life in April 2018.
His journal entries have been included in Måns Mosesson’s upcoming book, Tim – The Official Biography of Avicii, which is due for release next month, and depict how the star, real name Tim Bergling, dealt with his substance abuse battles.
Måns spoke to his parents, Anki and Klas Bergling, 家庭, 朋友们, exes, peers and colleagues about the star to piece together his life story.
The diary entries come from his various rehab and hospital stints for drink and drug addiction, before he died by suicide during a holiday with friends in Oman on 20 四月 2018, 老化的 28 – two years after stepping away from the spotlight.
痛苦的: Late star Avicii’s diary entries have shed light on the heartbreaking demons he faced before taking his own life in April 2018 (如图所示 2013)
Wake Me Up artist Avicii shot to worldwide fame in 2011 with his song Levels yet he stopped touring in 2016 following a battle with alcohol and opioid addiction.
His prescription pain killer addiction stemmed from a then 22-year-old Avicii, being rushed to hospital in January 2012 after developing agonising pancreatitis – caused by excessive drinking and acne medication.
Doctors strongly advised he stay sober for at least six months and cut out junk food, otherwise his stomach would become inflamed again and not heal – leading to the possibility of suffering chronic pain for the rest of his life.
It was here he began writing his journals – admitting he enjoyed this time.
痛苦的: His journal entries have been included in Måns Mosesson’s upcoming book, Tim – The Official Biography of Avicii, which is due for release next month, and depict how the star, real name Tim Bergling, dealt with his substance abuse battles
他写了: ‘I had a hard time accepting never drinking again though strongly suggested from all doctors to wait at least a year before even having a beer…
'当然, I didn’t listen to the majority of the doctors, I listened to the couple who said it was ok if I was careful. I was ignorant and naive and touring the world, still on the never-ending tour – because once you’ve circled it once, guess what?…
‘You start right back over again. Those days in hospital were the most anxiety and stress-free days I can remember the past 6 年份, those were my true vacations, as depressing as it might sound…
‘The relief of going from extreme pain to none, knowing that no one is expecting anything other than for you to wait it out (which is the only way of treating pancreatitis) and then recover was huge. It was an extreme relief considering the insane schedule I had kept up until that point.’
休克: Wake Me Up artist Avicii shot to worldwide fame in 2011 with his song Levels yet he stopped touring in 2016 following a battle with alcohol and opioid addiction
在 2015, after an intervention from his family, the star went to stay at the $13,400 per week Ibiza Calm rehab facility where he chronicled his time in his diary.
他写了: ‘It needed to be explained to me very logically and caveman-esque for me to truly understand its nature and how it was harming me. 哎哟, 疼痛. Why me pain now? Uncomfortable feeling…
‘Future Tim deal with pain. Future Tim deal with pain better than present Tim because already there’s too many present pains more urgent to deal with.’
在四月份 2018, Avicii travelled with a friend to to Oman, before which he messaged a friend discussing his ventures into meditation.
The DJ was only 21 when he shot to fame in 2011, and turned to drinking to cope with fame and the party lifestyle (pictured at the Summerburst festival in May 2015)
After battling against his demons, he turned to meditation, focusing heavily on the works of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi – who teaches that one could reach the deepest state of consciousness, or enlightenment, and there would be no more suffering.
Maharishi’s teachings state this level of ‘cosmic consciousness’ could be achieved in five to eight years’, yet Avicii wanted to reach this level quicker so was meditating for hours at a time – rather than the suggested 20 分钟.
他写了: ‘It feels like I am in a new default mode of being which is very new and a little bit scary. It felt like the fears the last couple of days caused havoc in me, but I remember the tip to focus on my breathing.’
Pains: 在四月 19, a fellow traveller Avicii had met on the trip contacted his father to express concern over the star’s meditation practices
在四月 19, a fellow traveller Avicii had met on the trip contacted his father to express concern over the star’s meditation practices.
He said the star was crying, not speaking, refusing to eat and sitting in the blistering son. He later called Klas to tell him the star had taken his own life.
Final messages from the star saw his tortured outlook, including a message reading: ‘The shedding of the soul is the last attachment, before it restarts!’
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