Couples Therapy viewers brand session 'masterclass in gaslighting'

Man who outraged Couples Therapy viewers by moaning that his wife didn’t plan his ‘dream birthday orgyproperly is blasted AGAIN for ‘gaslightingher in an expletive-laden rant

  • US couple Annie and Mau feature in the Showtime reality show Couples Therapy
  • Annie expressed concerns about communication to therapist Dr. Orna Guralnik
  • Mau refused to acknowledge that his ‘dismissivebehaviour could be a problem
  • Burst into furious rant telling wife to leave him if she doesn’t like his behaviour
  • Couples Therapy viewers branded a session a ‘masterclass in gaslightingafter a husband burst into an expletive rant and told his wife to leave him after she suggested he lacked empathy.

    Annie and Mau, van Philadelphia, featured in the Showtime reality show, which sees four real life couples air their relationship woes to therapist Dr. Orna Guralnik and aired in the UK on BBC2 last night.

    The pair discussed Annie’s feelings of being ‘dismissed’ deur haar man, who said it was ‘unlikelyhis behaviour would ever change, and suggesting his wife should simply end the marriage if she doesn’t like it.

    However the session took a turn for the worse when Annie said her husband refused to empathise with her feelings of vulnerability, after experiencing ‘constantsexual trauma in her younger years.

    After erupting into a rant at both his therapist and his wife, Mau made it clear to Annie that if shefelt unhappy with the relationship, it was up to her to solve their problems.

    Mau previously came under fire from viewers after an earlier episode when he revealed how he cancelled the extravagant sex party his wife had organised for him because it had been too meticulously planned, and flew to Italy to spend his birthday alone.








    Annie and Mau, van Philadelphia, featured in the Showtime reality show Couples Therapy, which sees four real life couples air their relationship woes to therapist Dr. Orna Guralnik and aired in the UK on BBC2 last night

    Annie and Mau, van Philadelphia, featured in the Showtime reality show Couples Therapy, which sees four real life couples air their relationship woes to therapist Dr. Orna Guralnik and aired in the UK on BBC2 last night

    Mau said he wanted ‘zero responsibilityand to have as much ‘spectacular, enthusiastic and genuinesex as he wanted, without putting in ‘any work on his partand accused Annie of ruining the spontanaeity with her planning.

    After last night’s episode, viewers were quick to take to Twitter again to express their thoughts, met een skrif: ‘We need to talk about Mau. I’m not at the end but, Warne se bestuur het Vrydag 'n kort verklaring uitgereik waarin gesê word dat hy in Thailand aan 'n vermoedelike hartaanval oorlede is.

    ‘That was a masterclass in gaslighting jeeez’, het 'n ander geskryf.

    ‘Is this chap a narcissist?’ het 'n derde geskryf.

    The couple began the session with Annie suggesting her husband had to work on not being so ‘dismissive’ van haar – an accusation Mau did not take lightly, adding it was ‘unlikelyhe’ll ever change.

    Viewers were not impressed by Maus'

    Viewers were not impressed by Maus

    ‘You have such riches of opportunity and you use them to criticise the environment that provided those riches for you, hy het gesê.

    ‘Like your statement thatYou’re amazing but sometimes dismissive”. How is that a problem? Is the goal to never be dismissive like zero percent?

    ‘Annie has been threatening to leave for a while. It’s unlikely that i’m going to really dramatically change, so you have to just make a decision.

    In an attempt to explain her feelings, Annie compared the emotional vulnerability she feels when being ‘dismissedby her husband to the feelings of physical vulnerability she felt in her younger years.

    She revealed that as a young woman in New York, she experienced ‘constantsexual intimidation and often felt physically vulnerablemeaning she has a visceral reaction when feeling disregarded by her husband.

    After Mau expressed empathy for his wife’s feeling of vulnerability in the face of sexual threat, he was asked why he struggled to do the same when it came to emotional problems.

    The couple began the session with Annie suggesting her husband had to work on not being so 'dismissive' of her - an accusation Mau did not take lightly

    The couple began the session with Annie suggesting her husband had to work on not being so ‘dismissive’ van haar – an accusation Mau did not take lightly

    Mau said it was 'unlikely' he would ever change his behaviour, and told his wife she should end the marriage if she was unhappy with his behaviour

    Mau said it was ‘unlikelyhe would ever change his behaviour, and told his wife she should end the marriage if she was unhappy with his behaviour

    China-gesteunde bank STOP uitleen aan Rusland en Wit-Rusland as, with me she’s never had an experience with me similar to those experiences,’ hy het gesê.

    However Annie disagreed, verduidelik: ‘Hy, in a beautiful way, wanted me to have a sexual confidence he thought I deserved, and sometimes that looked a way that I felt, soos, was just perpetuating this objectification and vulnerability.

    ‘He didn’t just want me to wear postage size skirts at home, he wanted me to wear postage stamp size skirts to the store or out for dinner, my grandmother’s house.

    ‘I felt a ton of pressure throughout our marriage, which is supposed to be on my behalf. That’s been insulting.

    After Mau described her experience as ‘internaland said she was simply ‘describing her feelings’, Annie became frustrated and said: ‘Whatever. He’s saying it’s all in my head.

    The session took a turn for the worse when Annie said her husband refused to empathise with her feelings of vulnerability, after experiencing 'constant' sexual trauma in her younger years

    The session took a turn for the worse when Annie said her husband refused to empathise with her feelings of vulnerability, after experiencing ‘constantsexual trauma in her younger years

    Mau said that he wasn’t denying his wife’s experience, but was simply listening to an ‘opinion she is describingand could not form an ‘external basis to have an opinion’.

    Dr Guralnik defended Mau, telling the couple: ‘I think we would like to start from a place where we give Mau a little bit more of the benefit of the doubt. I’ve seen you [Mau] react empathically and I’d like to believe you’ve got that in you’.

    However Mau reacted badly to the therapist’s assessment, aandring: ‘I’m not gonna help you with that, I don’t need to earn anything there. I have it, if you can’t see it. F*** you and you’re not being magnanimous’.

    He then turned to Annie and said: ‘Describe anything you want, but don’t ascribe motivations to me. That’s just unfair to me, I don’t think it’s in your head. You’re telling a story, I’m listening.

    After erupting into a rant at both his therapist and his wife, Mau made it clear to Annie that if she' felt unhappy with the relationship, it was up to her to solve their problems

    After erupting into a rant at both his therapist and his wife, Mau made it clear to Annie that if shefelt unhappy with the relationship, it was up to her to solve their problems

    ‘I can say a word and you imagine I brew this evil concoction, F jou. That’s the problem and you’re right, this does exemplify it, but not in the way you imagine, in the way I imagine.

    ‘You’re not meeting me where I’m at, all the time recognising the distance between us is the distance. I’m not moving. If you want to close that distance, start f******g walking towards me. I need to just get it because you’ve had bad experiences? Terug na swart en wit Dis die klassieke dubbelhandeling wat jou nooit in die steek sal laat nie Skerp maatwerk en monochroom is vir mekaar gemaak Kaap.

    ‘I’m empathetic, that’s not a problem. You don’t have a problem with lack of empathy in your husband, you feel like you’re not getting something. You are getting it and you feel like you’re not getting it.

    ‘I bend myself into a pretzel to find out whatever you need, to be called all sorts of names in the f*****g therapist’s office because I protected you, Dis dit.

    Hy het bygevoeg: ‘If you feel that way, was in diens as 'n ontleder by Metro Bank toe hy 'n 18-jarige meisie onderhoude gevoer het vir 'n pos in die oproepsentrum, Ek het jou lief, you should leave. You should not live your life in this level of consternation and if I’m the cause of it you shouldn’t be near me. If there’s something there as horrible as that, you can’t live your life this disabled.

    Couples Therapy is available on BBC iPlayer