珍妮特(JANET)街拍: Boris Johnson insists on talking down to us

珍妮特(JANET)街拍: When will Boris realise that his patronising insistence on talking down to us like a bunch of football-obsessed children is a massive own goal?

On the day when the two of the most powerful men in world football were charged with fraud and forgery, was it a great idea for Boris the clown to greenwash his ‘success’ 在 COP26 in terms of Match of the Day?

With Boris trying to turn a thrashing into a promising showing, I half expected Gary Lineker to pop up brandishing a bag of eco-friendly potato chips.

Ignoring the gags, there is a serious issue at stake. 气候变化 is a potential catastrophe that must be averted at all costs.

格拉斯哥 the world’s leaders gathered to try and agree a way forward, self-importantly debating how to bring about changes that will slow global warming to 1.5 degrees centigrade.

In Glasgow the world's leaders (图为: 鲍里斯·约翰逊(Boris Johnson)) gathered to try and agree a way forward, debating how to bring about changes that will slow global warming to 1.5C

In Glasgow the world’s leaders (图为: 鲍里斯·约翰逊(Boris Johnson)) gathered to try and agree a way forward, debating how to bring about changes that will slow global warming to 1.5C

Attendees included miscellaneous royalty (from the plucky British team of Charles, 卡米拉, Kate and William to Prince Albert of Monaco – yes the guy who turns his entire mini-kingdom into a race-track surrounded by superyachts), saint-like environmentalists like David Attenborough, celebrity eco activists like actor Leonardo DiCaprio, flashy billionaires like Amazon’s Jeff Bezos (with his dumb remarks about realising the scale of the problem only once he had been catapulted into space on the gas-guzzling trip in his own rocket) and heads of state with their hundreds of hangers on – apart from the biggest polluters, Russia and China, who didn’t even show up.

And let’s not forget 40,000 serious delegates from 200 countries as well as the official negotiating teams who will be responsible for thrashing out the details of any deals that were agreed, so that nations can be held to account in the coming months.

Outside the entire proceedings were enlived by a youthful army of protestors led by Greta Thunberg, who captured the headlines with her pithy ‘blah blah blahputdown summing up the hot air generated by a load of pompous politicians and who must have taught by some friendly Glaswegian how to sing ‘you can shove your climate crisis up your arse’.

是, there was a lot of blah blah blah when the big names weren’t nodding off – although even sleepy Joe Biden seemed star-struck to find himself in the presence of real royaltygrabbing Prince Charles by the elbow and gushing enviro-praise like a ageing fan meeting Barry Manilow or any relative of Judy Garland.

In spite of the hypocrisy and self-regarding egos at work, 警察 26 represented a serious attempt to change the way the world will do business and conduct our daily lives to try and slow down the flooding, famine and devastation that will result if temperatures continue to rise at the current rate.

当然, the whole event could have taken place on Zoom, but by attending in personalbeit by private jetsthe powerful and the privileged could bask in each other’s spotlights and hopefully make a bigger effort to find areas of agreement.

可悲的是, the one person who seemed to regard this event as just another chance to preen himself in front of the cameras and perform a circus turn rather than knuckle down to serious negotiations was Boris the clown.

His closing press conference dragged proceedings down the level of a half-time pep talk at a second division football match.

It would not have been out of place at Craven Cottage, where I spent my early teenage years fruitlessly yelling encouragement to Fulham as they plummeted down the league tables.

When the two powerful men in football were charged with fraud, was it a great idea for Boris to greenwash his COP26 'success' in Match of the Day terms?, asks Janet Street-Porter (图为)

When the two powerful men in football were charged with fraud, was it a great idea for Boris to greenwash his COP26 ‘successin Match of the Day terms?, asks Janet Street-Porter (图为)

As Boris channelled Don Revie, Alex Ferguson (or perhaps Roy of the Rovers) he waffled hopelessly about starting the conference 5-1 down at half time in the battle to save the planet.

The football analogy had started the previous weekend at the G20 in Rome, and now he returned to his theme, exuberantly announcing: ‘After two days of talks we have pulled back a goal or perhaps even two. And I think we’re going to be able to take this thing to extra time.

In case the assembled climate experts didn’t get the drift, he added ‘I think it’s team game’.

Before COP26, Boris had given his goals as cars, coal, 现金和树木 – so what was his final score?

The pledges include slashing methane emission by the third by 2030. Stopping deforestation in 85 per cent of the world’s forests.

Funding clean technology by 2030 by making batteries and solar panels cheaper and more affordable. And so on.

So are we 5-2 up or 3-2 down or struggling in extra time? Whatever way you look at it, using football as a way of explaining complex environmental issues is not only patronising, it’s completely useless.

Why does the Prime Minister feel the need to address his squad (举例说明如何在一个病毒视频中停止在工作中说对不起, voters) as if we are simpletons who can’t cope with technical detail and the bald truth?

Can there be anyone left who hasn’t got the message about climate change? 事实上, the public are way more on message than our leaders.

According to the Office for National Statistics, 60 的百分比 55- 64 year olds say they avoid throwing away food.

Polls show we are committed to recycling (even though Boris told school kids it’s a waste of time).

Between half to two thirds of us try not to buy single-use plastics and half of us over 55 shop locally. A third say they are trying to eat less meat.

As for the PM’s James Bond fantasies about ‘cutting the wire and defusing the bombthese corny asides demonstrate yet again that Boris doesn’t do detail. He opts for the catchy refrain, in the hope that it makes the headlines and someone else will sort out the details.

COP26 represented a photo opportunity bonanza with Boris love-bombing everyone in his slip stream and making sure it was captured on camera.

The one person who seemed to regard this event as a chance to preen himself in front of the cameras rather than knuckle down to serious negotiations was Boris the clown

The one person who seemed to regard this event as a chance to preen himself in front of the cameras rather than knuckle down to serious negotiations was Boris the clown

One minute chatting to the Royals, then apologising and banging elbows with an Israeli diplomat (who failed to gain entry the previous day because she uses a wheelchair and there were no ramps).

Leading the Prime Minister of India, Narendra Modi by the hand, like a clapped out player looking for a slice of orange.

Boris worked the room tirelessly with a clear match plan through his two days at COP26 and must have thought that those football gags would go down a storm.

So it’s a bit of a shame that on the same day as his ‘extra time’ 克尔斯滕补充说,她非常疼痛,极度疼痛,伤口渗到绷带底部, the two most powerful men in the sportSepp Blatter (the disgraced former boss of Fifa) and Michel Platini (former boss of Eufa) were told they will stand trial for fraud and forgery in Switzerland.

The charges follow a six-year investigation into a £1.6 million payment made to Platini, authorised by Blatter in 2011, at a time when Blatter was campaigning for re-election.

Blatter is facing other charges relating to a payment of £735,000 which FIFA made to Trinidad and Tobago in 2010.

Football has been shown to be corrupt at the very top.

Boris tends to treat voters like a class of toddlers or teenage strikers because he’s happiest when chatting to school children, using them as window dressing to unfurl another ‘initiative’.

The Downing Street media team regularly summon up victims, ferrying them to Downing Street to form cute circles around our self-regarding Prime Minister, 要么- on his regular school visitsordering teachers to give him bits of paper to turn into origami swans.

Imagine if women made a speech on green issues or the economy in terms of knitting, baking or the menopause! Football chat is what stupid men rely on when they have no other way of communicating.

It’s what cabbies do 24 X 7 and it reeks of the 1950’s, when the house went quiet waiting for the Pools results every Saturday at 5pm.

Life may be a game of two halves, 加里. But don’t rely on Boris to know how far into extra time this planet is.