但及时: What's wrong with this picture?

但及时: What’s wrong with this picture?

That sequin skirt from Aquazzura. Top by Cos. Shoes by Jimmy Choo

That sequin skirt from Aquazzura. Top by Cos. Shoes by Jimmy Choo

The opening scenes of the Sex and the City sequel And Just Like That… see Miranda and Carrie talking about the big white elephant on the set: where’s their other best friend Samantha?

当然, everyone knows that in real life Sarah Jessica Parker (嘉莉) and Kim Cattrall (萨曼莎(Samantha)) no longer speak to each other after a huge fallout about loyalty, feelings of exclusion and one (SJP, 当然) being paid more than the other.

It’s an honest picture, 我认为, of how tricky female friendships can be. Naively, I used to think that this was something we grow out of. 但, as the Sex and the City gals prove, that isn’t the case.

And although many of us shout very loudly about women supporting women, too often the reality doesn’t live up to the fine words. It’s a sad fact that the way we women treat each other isn’t always the nicest.

When I posted this photo of myself 40 women unfollowed me

Rather than pretending this doesn’t happen, I think we need to be more truthful about it. And put a stop to it the minute you feel it happening to you – just as we would if a man was treating us badly, emotionally or physically.

Working in the fashion industry, full of wonderful female creativity and packed with emotions, I often see how when women are not feeling the best about themselves, they try to put other women around them down in a way that’s incredibly damaging.

I’ve experienced it first-hand. 去年, I removed myself from the company of one well-known influencer – I blocked her on Instagram – because I’d had enough of her undermining ways.

然后, 就在圣诞节前, after I posted this photo of myself in a festive sequined skirt, happy at the thoughts of a few drinks, 40 women unfollowed me.I’ll be honest: this stung. 所以, rather than just shrug it off, I decided to call it out and ask why my happy skirt made them feel like they wanted to chop my virtual head off. I posted the photo on my Instagram Stories with a caption explaining what had happened.

It got an interesting reaction. On the positive side, 许多 15,000 women who viewed it sent lovely messages – proving lots of us really do support one another. One said my ‘crime’ had been to look slender – while she’d been comfort-eating mince pies.

But the difficulty is that it only takes one woman – or 40 in my case – to make you feel bad about yourself. I may have been smiling in the picture but inside I was just as full of Covid-induced anxiety as everyone else.

So here is a heartfelt resolution for 2022. Let’s not drag other women down to make ourselves feel better.

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@thestylistandthewardrobe

Pair with leggings and knee-high boots. 西装外套, 这些衣橱必备品既迷人又永恒, 这些将照亮您的空间

Cosy bouclé – what’s not to love? 第一眼, 190 英镑, cosstores.com

Just the right kind of slouch. 裤子, £280, Acne Studios, net-a-porter.com

Sporty side-stripes look chic with a structured jacket. 绑腿, £95, Norma Kamali, net-a-porter.com

Chunky bling = instant glamour. 手镯, 这是一次进入佛教世界中心的难得旅程, Laura Lombardi, matchfashion.com

These will dress up knits and dark winter days. 收入, £55, Shyla, 自由伦敦网

Goes beautifully with browns and camels. 骨骼平衡轮廓, 特别特别, cosstores.com