Tag: UTLEY

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TOM UTLEY: I love that the young today think David Beckham is posh!

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TOM UTLEY: I used to be such a crashing snob. Now I love that the young today think David Beckham is posh! Would you describe David Beckham as upper class? How about Peregrine Fortescue-Farquhar, the unemployed Old E...

TOM UTLEY: How to beat the blues

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TOM UTLEY: How to beat the blues - award yourself £10 every time you hear the phrase 'mental health' on TV or radio Earlier this month I invented a game to cheer myself up through these short, chilly days of January....

TOM UTLEY: Happy 100th birthday to the Bloody Mary!

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TOM UTLEY: Happy 100th birthday to the Bloody Mary - the only hangover cure I’ve found in my 68 years that works! We can’t allow 2021 to pass without raising a glass to one of the great Frenchmen of the 20th century....

TOM UTLEY: Musk is right – it’s NOT selfish to have lots of children

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TOM UTLEY: Elon Musk is right - it's NOT selfish to have lots of children. Who else will pull pints in the future? Many years ago, when our boys were still at school, I had the misfortune of finding myself sitting ne...

TOM UTLEY: Phone boxes call us all back to our youth 

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TOM UTLEY: From playing the sax to losing your virginity, phone boxes call us all back to our youth Younger readers, brought up in the age of the mobile phone, may perhaps be baffled by this week’s extraordinary outp...

TOM UTLEY: The tax hike on cigarettes has left me fuming

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TOM UTLEY: I know few will pity me, but the tax hike on cigarettes has left me fuming (at a cost of £12k a year) Did you notice a truly extraordinary omission from most of the coverage of Wednesday’s Budget? Well, I ...

TOM UTLEY: The new Bond film left me neither shaken nor stirred 

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TOM UTLEY: It's a depressing reality of growing old that new Bond film left me neither shaken nor stirred This is a monstrously ungrateful thing to say, but it was only 90 minutes into the new Bond movie when I start...

TOM UTLEY: Prince Philip and I shared two things in common

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TOM UTLEY: It turns out Prince Philip and I had two things in common... and one of them still drives me crackers Very few of us, I venture to suggest, have lived lives quite as far removed from the ordinary as that o...

TOM UTLEY: Aren’t we ALL guilty of telling occasional whoppers?

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TOM UTLEY: Yes it's a terrible excuse, but aren't we ALL guilty of telling occasional whoppers? Did you chance to read yesterday's story about the motorist who came up with a credulity-stretching excuse for speeding ...

TOM UTLEY: Judge order for guilty man to read Austen has lost the plot

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TOM UTLEY: Yes, Jane Austen is criminally good. But the judge ordering a guilty man to read her has lost the plot One of the great consolations of my declining memory, I find, is that I can re-read a favourite novel ...

TOM UTLEY: I’m so befuddled by emojis

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TOM UTLEY: I'm so befuddled by emojis that I often send one that hints I'm either bisexual... or a billionaire Oh Lord, what have I done? Many months ago, a friend sent me a WhatsApp message in which she had inserted...

TOM UTLEY: To be born a Tom is a head start to glory

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TOM UTLEY: To be born a Tom is a head start to glory. Shame there's not a gold for bunging paper in the bin Go Team Tom! Is there a single Thomas, Tommy or Tom who didn’t feel a frisson of quiet pride over the fact t...

TOM UTLEY: What’s so wrong with saying Enid Blyton stoked controversy?

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TOM UTLEY: Enid Blyton lit up my childhood. But what's so wrong with saying she also stoked controversy? Enid Blyton (pictured) gave us the Famous Five and the Secret Seven God help us all, what have the id...

TOM UTLEY: You can’t put a price on a pet’s love… but insurers can

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TOM UTLEY: You can't put a price on a pet's love... that's why greedy insurers have us collared How much, in terms of hard cash, do you love your pet? It’s a brutal question to ask, I realise, and most of us would an...

TOM UTLEY: It’s only middle class who care about ‘posh’ vocabulary 

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TOM UTLEY: I wince at the word 'toilet' - but then it's only us middle class who truly care about 'posh' vocabulary My late grandmother, one of the last of the Victorians and a crashing snob, used to say that it was ...

TOM UTLEY: Easier to run a country than deny a wife a home makeover

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TOM UTLEY: Believe me, it's a lot easier to run a country than deny a wife her home makeover How many times, over the past few days, have you heard pundits declaring: 'If Boris Johnson can't even say no to Carrie Sy...

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