Do people REALLY do that? Tracey Cox reveals the eyebrow-raising sex acts that are more popular than you think – from testicle stretching to ‘pony play’ (and the ones that are probably just urban legends)
Oor die jare, I’ve heard a lot of bizarre rumours about what people get up to sexually.
Most sex rumours we instantly dismiss as rubbish (the one that says teenagers on farms lose their virginity to sheep and cows). Others we’re not quite sure about.
Do gay men really insert light bulbs rectally as a trust exercise? (If they do, I found no evidence.) Can you really have sex for seven hours straight like Sting claims? Yes – tantric sex can last hours. But a lot of it involves staring into each other’s eyes and meditating rather than having marathon intercourse sessions.
We’ve all heard about the model who slept with the Hollywood A-lister who insisted on keeping his noise cancelling headphones on throughout, listening to whale music. He certainly hasn’t admitted it publicly.
And the one about the instantly recognisable UK comedian who visits brothels and sits in the waiting room along with everyone else, not caring a hoot about who sees him. (he eye witness accounts are many but, strangely, few are keen to have their real names used!
Some celebs are very open about their ‘kinks’.
Carmen Electra admits she uses wire coat hangers to ramp up her sex life – though won’t go into details of how she uses them. Her only comment: ‘A little pleasure, a little pain. It’s all about fun.’
There are many rumoured sex acts that sound, wel, anything from downright bonkers to more than a little disturbing.
I decided to take a look at some of the eyebrow-raising ones that have done the rounds, to investigate which are urban legends and which might really be a ‘thing’.
Byvoorbeeld, is it REALLY true that…
You’ve heard all sorts of wild rumours about what other people get up to in the bedroom, but now Tracey Cox has revealed the kinky tales you can believe and those that are probably urban myths (voorraad beeld)
People get turned on by pretending to be ponies
Pony play (PP) includes being fed carrots, wearing a saddle, wearing a tail (attached via a butt plug) and a bridle, often one with blinkers. Fans may also wear a bit (metal mouthpiece) between their teeth and a headpiece as a mane.
‘Ponies’ gallop, whinny and stomp their feet and their owners or trainers lead them around, groom them, pretend to ride them and interact in other – less innocent – ways.
Because it generally combines elements of BDSM, you’ll tend to find PP devotees at BDSM clubs and gatherings.
Not surprisingly, hard statistics on how many people practise it are difficult to find. But there was a huge spike in interest in 2008, prompted by a film made by Madonna that included PP.
Sniffing dirty T-shirts can help you find your perfect match
Pheromone parties were all the rage about five or six years ago, packed with singles wanting to find a love or erotic match.
They seem to have originated in LA, as a dating craze, but the olfactory outings caught on in London as well.
Guests would wear and sleep in a cotton T-shirt for three days running – not washing or wearing fragrance or deodorant – then seal it in a plastic bag.
They’d then take their (secretly marked) bag to the party, place it on a table and spend the evening taking a sniff of all the bags until they found a scent that aroused them.
What happened when you made contact with the person who’d been wearing the T-shirt was up to the guests – but rumour has it more than a few ended up having sex.
There’s plenty of anecdotal evidence to say the parties were semi-successful at matching people up but no real scientific evidence to support this.
Probably why you’d be hard pressed getting an invitation to a pheromone party near you today.
The premise is that pheromones are the chemical triggers of sexual attraction. But the validity of whether pheromones really do send us wild has been challenged: the experiments this was based on weren’t done on humans.
Tracey Cox said that if you’ve tried pegging, teabagging or grapefruit oral sex, you’re not as risqué as you think
Hanging weights on your testicles will deliver sexual thrills
There are many reasons why some men voluntarily do something that makes most other men’s eyes water, at the mere mention of it.
Some say testicle stretching increases testosterone production: advising gentle stretching using various hand techniques and massaging. Others find the act of stretching their testicles with weights arousing and find it makes orgasm more intense. Devotees claim having low-hanging testicles can help make erections harder and last longer.
Stretching is achieved using specially designed weights or devices which are also often used in the BDSM community to play various kinky games.
There are claims that men can stretch their testicles to 10 of 11 inches long over time. For the average, devoted testicle stretcher, anything from four to seven inches is apparently very possible to achieve.
One of the world’s biggest sex toy retailers, Lovehoney, reports that sales of testicle stretchers are up by over 20 percent globally.
People enjoy wearing a nappy and being treated like a baby
The ABDL (adult baby/diaper lover) community is a wide and varied group.
One company held monthly Adult Baby Parties in London for eight years for its 500+ lede. (It’s having its final event in December this year due to Covid and other reasons.)
A quick search also turned up several ABDL nurseries where adults can go to be with like-minded people. Tykables – a US website – has been selling adult nappies since 2014 and regularly organises events and gatherings.
Infantilists are people who role-play as babies: wear nappies, drink from a baby bottle, crawl about on the floor, have baby baths, eat baby food and play with baby toys.
Some get sexual gratification from it or enjoy the humiliation aspect, others are simply comforted by clothing and items related to infancy.
(It’s worth pointing out here that infantilism is in no way connected to paedophilia: people in the ABDL (adult baby/diaper lover) community are NOT interested in sexual contact with children or babies.)
No-one really knows what triggers the fetish.
Jammer, you’re not that racy! EVERYONE’S tried out these kinks (wel, at least once…)
Grapefruit blow jobs: ‘Auntie Angel’ posted a YouTube video showing how to ‘please your man’ by giving him oral sex with a grapefruit around the base of his penis more than eight years ago.
She demonstrates on a dildo – making such unexpected noises, viewers felt scarred forever!
The grapefruit oral sex technique basically involves cutting a grapefruit into a thick wheel (cut both ends off), making a small hole in the middle and then pushing it over the head of the penis until it sits at the base.
You then perform oral sex, as you usually would, rotating the grapefruit wedge around as you do.
This caused such a sensation when it first appeared, just about everyone tried it once – but once was about how much most people did try it.
The messiness far outweighs the fun.
Tea-bagging: This is the slang term for a man placing his scrotum in the mouth of his partner and dipping them in and out, as you would a tea-bag in a mug.
Men loved the idea, lots of women obliged. I couldn’t find too many straight couples who still include this as part of foreplay but many had given it a whirl at some stage.
Pegging: Pegging – stereotypically when a female wears a strap-on dildo to penetrate her male partner – was the hottest sex trend of 2020. Ten percent of 1000 women in a UK poll admitted to pegging their partner and one in ten said they’d like to try it.
It’s still hugely popular with couples and I can personally vouch for this because I sell a ‘Pegging Kit’ in one of my sex toy ranges. It consistently sells extremely well.
Contrary to those who think it means the guy must be secretly gay, pegging’s popularity is more down to the buzz of reversing sexual roles and stimulation of the male G-spot, the prostate gland.
Giving someone a ‘pearl necklace’: This is slang for ejaculating on someone’s chest (with the idea that the end result resembles a pearl necklace). Ejaculating in places other than inside is also something most couples try at one point.
BDSM: Rihanna openly admitted to being a fan during an interview with Rolling Stone magazine. She likes being spanked and tied up and loves being submissive. She isn’t the only one. Tie-up and power games score high in most people’s sexual fantasies – and are one of the most enjoyed when taken through to reality.
Foot fetishes:The comedian Jack Black owns up to his one. A foot fetish can take various forms – some people like licking and sniffing feet, others like to massage them or use them during sexual penetration. One study found 14 persent van 4000 people surveyed on sexual fantasies reported having one that included feet. ‘Can you leave your heels on?’ is something men frequently ask of women.
One study suggested most devotees are men in their late 30s, well-educated and in a stable sexual relationship. But there are doubts about how representative the survey was.
Little is known about it because adult babies don’t tend to seek help – most are quite happy doing what they’re doing and don’t see it as causing anyone harm.
Those who do see a psychologist or psychiatrist tend to turn up because their partners want them to ‘get help’.
Adult breastfeeding is a ‘thing’
Brits discovered adult breastfeeding recently when Channel 4 did a documentary about couples who get turned on by it.
Lots of men admit to ‘having a try’ of their wife’s breast milk after pregnancy. Perhaps this explains why 300,000 people watched a breastfeeding video one of the couples on the show shared on an online porn site.
A performer called ‘Milky Mummy’ also produces adult content for those who find breastfeeding erotic.
It’s niche – but it does happen.
Electric shocks can give you more intense orgasms
BDSM porn scenes often includes people wielding things like cattle prods but now electrified sex toys are for anyone who fancies one.
Sex and electricity don’t sound like a good mix but electro sex toys are a fast growing sector of the sex toy market.
‘Electro sex’ is a way of stimulating the genitals and erogenous zones with a safe amount of electrical energy (the human body is mostly water so it’s an excellent conductor). The toy or a conductive pad is placed somewhere on your body (like your genitals) to allow electricity to pass through the nerve cells.
This makes you super sensitive to touch and creates sensations that range from a prickle or a tingle to a strong pulsating feeling that causes the muscles to contract and feel good.
They’re also effective in helping tone the pelvic floor.
Everyone’s having golden showers
OK, so you’ve all heard of this one and know it happens. But is it as common as most people think?
Golden showers or water sports, for those who aren’t in the know, means getting sexual pleasure by either urinating on someone, being urinated on, watching others urinate or (rarer) drinking it.
Ricky Martin admits to loving these (“I love giving the golden shower. I’ve done it before in the shower,” he famously said during an interview) but it’s actually not as mainstream as you think.
Kinsey fellow and US sex educator Justin Lehmiller cites one study of 400 adults who were asked to write about their favourite sexual fantasy. None of the women mentioned urine and only 1.4 percent of men mentioned it.
A European study asked college students if they’d watched urophilia porn and/or got aroused by it.
Terwyl 23 per cent had watched it, it scored only 1.27 on a scale of excitement (9 being very exciting).
Golden showers got a spike in popularity in the lead up to the US election because of a leaked dossier that contained ‘compromising’ information on Donald Trump. It supposedly said Trump had watched Russian sex workers urinate on a bed that Barack and Michelle Obama had previously slept in.
Pornhub statistics show searches for ‘golden shower’ rose by 289 per cent on that day the story broke. It’s sustained some popularity since but isn’t quite as common as the average person thinks.
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