The dark world of Female Dating Strategy: Online community teaches women to avoid ‘worthless scrotes’ and categorises men into ‘low and high value’ based on finances, mental health and penis size
An online forum for women created to tackle misogyny and offer dating advice has come under fire for echoing incel culture by scrutinising and ridiculing men.
Founded in the US in 2019 by a ‘collective’ of anonymous women ‘from all walks of life’ the blog Female Dating Strategy is a website and online community claiming to help women enter ‘relationships that truly benefit them’, that’s since become a global phenomenon.
It was created in reaction to Red Pill or Incel communities – a collection of websites, blogs, and online forums which oppose feminism and promote masculinity and misogyny.
Core beliefs include that ‘most men are not of value’ to women, that a man’s ‘role is to be the pursuer’, men must ‘invest’ in you before you allow them to have sex with you, and that it’s not acceptable to date a ‘financially-challenged man’.
FDS labels unsuitable men ‘scrotes’, claims males with personality disorders or small penises should be avoided, while women should never move in with a man before marriage or have sex on the first date.
In recent years the website has expanded considerably, branching out into a host of Reddit threads which includes the ‘FDS handbook’ – a collection of over 100 lengthy posts laying out their ideology, while the group’s main thread has 206,000 lede.
While the female-only forum is framed as pro-women, it asks female users to tailor their personalities in a bid to attract the ‘right sort’ of man – divvying men up into categories of ‘high and low’ werd.
Gestig in 2019 in reaction to Red Pill Rights, Female Dating Strategy is an online community claiming to help women enter ‘relationships that truly benefit them’. Among their core beliefs influde that women should not have one night stands and the size of a man’s penis matters
Emma Sayle, the CEO of sex-positive social network Killing Kittens, says that ‘any site that rates humans as lesser to each other by using derogatory terms is never going to end well’.
She believes that by ridiculing men on the website, users could actually be worsening misogyny by tapping into male insecurities.
‘Belittling an individual makes them feel inferior and feeds insecurities, playing into misogyny, and keeping the cycle of misogynistic dating alive’, said Emma.
‘No one is ‘too good’ for anyone else. There’s no ‘out of your league’ or ‘cr*p in bed’. Different people have different chemistry, and there’s someone for everyone at the end of the day. Who is anyone to judge what determines a high-value or low-value man?’
The group divides men into categories of ‘high and low value’ and tells users that a man needs to ‘invest’ in them before they have sex, claiming that ‘P**y has value, and d*ck doesn’t’
WHAT USERS POST ON FEMALE DATING STRATEGY
The men’s rights movement that sparked Female Dating Strategy: What is Red Pill Rights?
Red Pill Rights is part of the ‘manosphere’ – a collection of websites, blogs, and online forums which oppose feminism and promote masculinity and misogyny.
The Reddit forum and subsequent blog calls itself a ‘discussion of sexual strategy in a culture increasingly lacking a positive identity for men.’
Users who ‘swallow the red pill’ have seen the world as incels believe it is, stacked up against men with feminism a damaging and dangerous ideology.
Incel groups are part of the so-called manosphere, and believe that society is inherently anti-male, with women controlling the world by choosing who or who not to have sex with.
‘Incel’ stands for ‘involuntary celibate’ and is a term used by a certain group of men who blame their inability to form relationships and have sex on women.
Incels consider their looks to be the root of their problems.
Good-looking men are known as Chads, while attractive women are Staceys. An average looking man is a normie, while a Becky is an average looking young woman.
Taking a ‘black pill’ is to adopt a fatalistic and misogynistic world view and a position that is impossible to change.
Going ER, inspired by US mass murderer Elliot Rodger, means a killing spree.
Rodger, who came from a privileged and affluent background, killed two women and four men in a gun and knife attack in 2014.
He targeted his college’s Alpha Phi sorority house, whose members included ‘the kind of girls I’ve always desired but was never able to have’.
In a ‘manifesto’ he wrote before committing the atrocity, Rodger claimed: ‘I am the true victim in all of this. I am the good guy.’
The murderer has since been venerated by incel followers, including Christopher Sean Harper-Mercer, who shot nine people dead in Oregon, VSA, in 2015, and Alek Minassian, who killed ten in a vehicle-ramming attack in Toronto, Kanada, in 2018.
Incel groups have been accused of inciting violence and misogyny online and numerous communities and subreddits have been banned over their content.
While there are several posts addressing widespread issues such as drink spiking and sexual assault – many others rant about finding avoiding ‘worthless’ men and abstaining from sex ‘without investment’.
Posts are usually shared using tags such as ‘Male depravity’, ‘Pick me culture’ – referencing women who are desperately seeking approval from men – or ‘Level up’ – meaning a post helping to establish yourself as a ‘high value woman’.
Users often call out members of the Red Pill subreddit for their attitudes towards women – however share posts with similar rhetoric towards men.
Byvoorbeeld, one post titled ‘Men don’t have sexual needs’ claims that males only wish to have sex in order to ‘degrade, oorheers, humiliate, feel powerful and get other men’s approval’.
Another recent post links to the Female Dating Strategy podcast of which the latest subject is ‘body-shaming men for their own good’.
‘HIGH QUALITY’ WOMEN AND ‘PICKMESHAS’
The Female Dating Strategy offers a ‘handbook’ to first time users of recommended reading, including a guide on how to become a ‘high value woman’ and how to spot a ‘low value man’.
The first step of the ideal ‘dreamgirl’ is becoming an ‘immovable mover’ – someone who makes men ‘feel safe’, is ‘trustworthy and reliable, because you know she is how she is’.
A ‘high quality woman’ takes care of her health and hygiene but ‘isn’t crazy’ and if she suffers from mental health issues must manage them through therapy or medication.
The site also categorises females into those who are looking to appease men, ‘Pickmeshas’, and even uses terms common on the manosphere like ‘Becky’ to describe a woman who falls for a ‘low value man’.
‘HIGH AND LOW’ VALUE MEN
As for low value men, an entire page is dedicated to helping users spot personality disorders in potential dates while the official Female Dating Strategy website states that penis size very much matters for enjoyable sex.
Women are told that ‘having children with LVM will quite literally ruin your life.’
‘A LVM will destroy your life if you let him. Wear condoms like your life depends on it. In werklikheid, I advocate for no sex for at least 3 months and also STI checks if possible. Males can infect you with deadly diseases that could bar you from having children later on’, reads one post.
Men are generalised into eight categories of the ‘LVM’ to be avoided; The clinger; The parental seeker; The unavailable man; The man with the hidden life; The mentally ill man; The violent man and The predator.
Alternatiewelik, a ‘HVM’ is a male who will financially and emotionally invest in a woman, continually – he must be attractive to the female, good with money and constantly volunteer his time to help out his partner.
Core beliefs include that ‘most men are not of value’ to women, that a man’s ‘role is to be the pursuer’, men must ‘invest’ in you before you allow them to have sex with you and you must never date a ‘financially challenged man’. Op die foto, examples of post titles on the FDS subreddit
One post in the handbook reads: ‘Unless he’s consistently investing his resources in you, he has no place in your life’.
When it comes to housework, a HVM will recognise that it’s almost impossible to split house work evenly – those who do are ‘unicorns’ – and will offer money to pay for a housekeeper to help you out.
HOW TO DATE A ‘HIGH VALUE MAN AS A HIGH QUALITY WOMAN’
In order to bag a HVM rather than a LVM, women must follow a strict set of rules – including never sleeping with men on the first date or moving in with a man before marriage.
From ‘scrotes’ to ‘dreamgirls’: Female Dating Strategy terminology
‘Low Value Men’ (LVM) are unworthy men who aren’t financially responsible and should be avoided at all cost
‘High Value Men’ (HVM) are financially responsible, emotionally mature men who constantly invest in their partner
‘Pickmisha’ – A woman who is desperate for male approval and chooses to date LVM men
‘dreamgirl’ – A ‘high quality woman’ who attracts HVM
‘Becky’ – An ordinary girl who falls for LVM
‘Scrotes’ – Obnoxious men who should be avoided
‘Average Frustrated Chimps’ (AFCs) – Men who aren’t good with women
‘Alpha Male of the Group (AMOG)’ – Men who are good with women
Other helpful tips the feminist forum provides for dates are; slowly approaching the chair with your hands on your handbag to see if your date pulls out your chair; Expecting him to put your coat on for you; Pretending you don’t notice when the bill comes and pausing during a story to see if he refills your glass.
When it comes to sex, BDSM and polyamory are disrespectful because they are a reflecting of his personal values, according to the group.
One post in the handbook reads: 'Eerstens, a fundamental law of nature is that P**y has value, and d*ck doesn’t. There is a reason why the females are usually the choosier sex – any sexual engagement with males comes with high risk and limited reward.’
IS THE WEBSITE DANGEROUS?
Jon Bircher is an author and former journalist who explores similar themes in his books Date-onomics and Make Your Move, but does not agree with the group’s solutions to the problems posed by modern dating.
He called shaming women who ask out men on dates, women who ask their boyfriends to marry them and quantifying other human beings as ‘high value’ or ‘low value’ as ‘uncomfortable’.
‘It’s not the kind of world I want to live in’, hy het gesê. ‘Though I do realise many celebrity dating coaches use the same coarse language and preach the same ideas as FDS.
'Aan my, the modern-day obsession with dating labels such as ‘high value woman’ or ‘low value man’ is a sign of how online dating is ruining romance. It shows the consumerist mindset.
‘Online dating has become just another form of online shopping. Everything can be returned or exchanged. It’s all about landing the best deal.
‘There’s little room any more for love or magic. Online dating is just another value proposition, one in which the gentlemanly electrician is a low-value mate but the insufferable banker a high-value one.’
‘I really hate this sort of classism, but the fundamental problem goes beyond morals and ethics. It’s bad dating strategy too.’